Taking On Challenges

On Halloween, Will Your Child Take The High Road or the Low Road?

October 24, 2011

Julie A. Riess, Ph.D., is the Senior Advisor on Child Development and Education at Families and Work Institute. She is a developmental psychologist and the director of the Wimpfheimer Nursery School at Vassar College.

This article was originally published in the Poughkeepsie Journal by Gannett Publications on October 29, 2006.

Boo!

Did that scare you? Make your heart race a little faster? Cause you to startle? Probably not. Out of context, with no great lead up story or visual imagery, "boo!" is just a word on a page. But if that word was spoken by Vincent Price at the climax of a horror movie or written as the cliffhanger in a Stephen King novel, you might have already been sweating, eyes wide and shallow of breath.

Helping Children Thrive When Faced With Setbacks: Lessons From Carol Dweck

September 06, 2011

 This blog is the second in a series to share the research of child development researchers and neuroscientists who have genuinely inspired me in my 11-year journey to create "Mind in the Making". Their work is truly "research to live by."

I am sharing the story of Carol Dweck of Stanford University because her studies provide important insights into unlocking the secrets of the children who don't wilt in the face of setbacks. Like many researchers, she can trace her passion for her work to a childhood experience -- in this case a fear of losing her seat in the front of her grade school class. As she tells it:

If I had to trace this back, I'd trace it back to my sixth-grade class. Our teacher, Mrs. Wilson, seated us around the room in IQ order. She thought that your IQ score summarized you -- not just your intelligence, but your character as well. She would not let a lower-IQ student carry a note to the principal, erase the blackboard, or carry the flag in the assembly.

 

I was so aware of how I had loved to learn before, but in that class, it was "look smart at all costs." I was fascinated with people who could take on something difficult, roll with the punches, get up again, start again. I was fascinated by resilience, so I just wanted to figure it out.

Helping Children to Learn to Take on Challenges

August 31, 2011

I am beginning a series to share the findings of child development researchers and neuroscientists who have genuinely inspired me in my 11-year journey to create"Mind in the Making." Their research is truly "research to live by."

The first person I'm writing about is Heidelise Als of Harvard University, because her studies are so instructive in how we can help children deal with challenges and learn to become stronger as a result. Perhaps surprisingly, learning this skill doesn't just happen when children are older. Als' research is with pre-term babies born 10 to 12 weeks before their due date -- the most fragile babies in neonatal intensive care units. When adults watch what young children do to cope successfully and then create situations where they can do more of the same, the process for learning to take on challenges is seeded.

The Right Kind of Praise Can Make a Difference

May 16, 2011

Every semester, I post a sign on my office door for one week: "It's that time of year. Please do not disturb unless urgent." It is the marker to others, and to myself, that the end of the semester is near. While students stay awake studying and writing, professors are up reading and grading. In academia, it is the storm before the calm.

When I was a student, the call of spring seemed tantalizing, but tolerable; I could take in small bits and still be productive.

Three decades later, neither my body nor my mind can work efficiently in an unstructured environment. By the time I set up a cushioned chair to support my back, don a baseball hat and sunglasses to allow me to see my laptop screen without glare, put on SPF 80 sunscreen and take Advil for a possible "sun headache" … the great outdoors somehow loses its appeal.

Instead, I sit on a comfortable, supported chair in a quiet, air conditioned library and gaze out the window at a world in full bloom. My mind wanders to being outside, but for graduation, not grading. I imagine the graduates sitting before me, surrounded on the hillside by proud parents, family and friends. I wonder about each of their paths to arrive at this day, and their journeys yet unknown. I think about my own.

At Vassar, graduation tends to be an oddly appropriate event. Usually, praise and acclimations bestowed upon the graduates are related to effort and hard work, perseverance and resiliency. Authentic accomplishments are recognized, not only in the graduates but in the commencement speaker's own life work.

The roads, rivers and superhighways beyond the college's main gate are not portrayed like a rainbow path on a Candyland game board. No one hands out a road map. Diplomas are not stamped with "certificate of guaranteed success."

And not once have I heard the words, "You did it! You're so smart!"

So what's this got to do with a column on parenting in the early years? Everything.

Helping Your Toddler Take on Challenges Without Going Crazy

June 17, 2010

By Morra Aarons-Mele

Joseph Campos explains that the role of a parent or caregiver’s non-verbal communication can help your child guide his behavior in an uncertain context. That’s how we learn the rules. How we communicate affects how our child approaches challenges. In his famous “Visual Cliff” experiment, Campos illustrates how babies either forge ahead with a challenge, or hold back, depending on their parent’s facial feedback. Placed on a raised platform, a baby is faced with a “visual” cliff of plexiglass. He is hesitant to crawl over the “cliff,” even to reach an appetizing toy. If his parent gives him an encouraging look or gesture, however, the baby is much more likely to take on the challenge and crawl over the “cliff.” Parents of babies and toddlers face versions of the visual cliff every day. Sometimes, we need to use every available expression and piece of language to prevent experimentation (if, for example, your kid is approaching the stove). But often, the non-verbal interplay between parent and child encourages new learning.